I’d like to thank you all for being here today, it really meant a lot to my mother how much you all cared about her. I’m sure most of you know who I am, but in case you don’t I’m Katie. And while my brothers may have been teasing about offering this task to me, after having time to think about it, I think our mother Betty would be ok with me trying to express even a portion of what made her so special to all of us.
She was born in 1960, and while to some of us it seems a short time to be here, She did a lot in her time. She played music, she went on adventures, she laughed, she cried, she beat cancer, and she made the world a better place. And in honesty, I only know portions of what she got to do while she was here. Her life was so full it could have burst at the seams.
To sum up Betty’s life in a tidy bite size piece, is an impossible task. Any of you here understand that. She lived life to the fullest. She taught us to not only share what we have, but to use our talents to improve the world around us. But most importantly Betty taught us how to Love.
Mom made sure that Love wasn’t a word that meant only one thing. While we may not have understood the various types in their divided levels she gave us wonderful examples through the way she lived.
Philia. Betty made many friends in her life. Through the loyalty and camaraderie she displayed in them, she emphasised how important affection and love for our friends is. I don’t think I can remember a time when my Godmother Laura wasn’t in our lives. The two of them were always able to find something to laugh about, whether it was nonsense that the kids were getting up to, or just reminiscing about things. But you could always feel the love in the space when they were together. But this is only ONE of many examples Betty gave us for how friendships can look. No matter what they look like, all friendships are important and help build the community we exist in. Mom made sure everyone knew how important our friends are. Many of her friends were more than just friends, they became family.
Storge. We have so many family connections. Family we are born into, family we marry into, family we turn into. The stories and adventures she’d tell us about our family made it easy to know how deep those bonds went for her. She also made sure we knew how important it is to know where you come from. Growing up we spent many holidays, birthdays, and just random days with our family members. We’d learn family history and jokes through those interactions. Giving us insight into how important loving our family members can be. They’re often the rocks you can cling to when the world seems to collapse around you. They may not always understand what you’re going through, but she taught us that family is there. And never to forget the ones we’ve lost because they’ve helped to get us to where we are.
Ludus. The joy she gave when sharing her musical talents and other skills. She would tease people good naturedly, and it wasn’t to be mean. She taught us it wasn’t a bad thing to share things that you think may bring joy to others. Buckskin and Calico was a huge part of her life, in fact I’ve NEVER known a part of my life when it wasn’t part of hers. Last year they celebrated 50 years of her being at the Little Valley riders club with the band. For most of us it’s hard to imagine going anywhere that long. But the friends she made there became family over the years. And I KNOW they have plenty of stories to tell about things she did out there over the years. And she really loved being out there.
Pragma and Eros, Enduring Love, patient love, romantic Love. Mom and Dad are amazing examples of this. Even when things may have been difficult, they were always together. Even while she was in the hospital she was looking at guitars and picked one out for Joe’s birthday present. They delivered it to her right at the hospital. Betty showed us how important it can be to think of things that can bring someone you love joy for a long time, enduring well beyond the present. Their Love isn’t just fleeting, it endures.
Bringing me to the last type of love that I am going to mention, Agape. Unconditional love to her fellow man. Betty was always willing to help her fellow man if there was a way to. I remember going on some of the shut-in visits with her and Uncle Herbie. The two of them would engage in conversation and you could literally feel the happiness in the room. The shut-ins may not have all been people we knew well, but they enjoyed the company. It was a blessing to get to experience that with them.
All those different words, Philia, Storge, Ludus, Pragma, Eros, Agape, all mean love. Betty loved. If there’s anything she did while she was here it was that. She loved life. And made sure we all had a good example of love to learn from.
When we were kids, we would come to Windom for xmas eve service. We’d be here with so many of our family members and friends, and I remember there was a song we’d all sing after they’d turn off the lights. We’d pass a spark of light through the congregation while singing One Little Candle. Betty was a candle, sharing her love light with each of us. She’s left the world a brighter place than when she came. If we each continue to share these lights with even a few other people, we’ll be able to keep the memories of Love alive for everyone.
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