Playing Around

 This Bout of midnight madness is for you Maru.*grins* Let's say it was a rough weekend. Miss ya Sis.

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Grabbing her hair, I tilted her head back seeing the fear that fluttered in her ice blue eyes. They had showed no emotion before as we’d talked, but now that I was close it seemed different. Our discussion was not going to end the same way as before. This time I intended to get an answer.

“You’re afraid of me now aren’t you?” I asked softly, knowing that a smirk was crawling across my face. I wrapped my free arm around her waist pulling her closer.

She made a sound that sounded like a scoff, and she attempted to shake her head and get loose. “I’m not afraid of you.” Her nose wrinkled, and the expression she suddenly wore almost made me laugh as she continued. “You’re all talk, and no show. Everyone knows that about you Kid. You never change.”

I raised my eyebrows at the comment, pulling her closer, my dark blue eyes staring into hers, that still showed the same emotion. “Is that a challenge Doll? I mean, I’ve no problem stepping it up a little if you want to up the ante.”

“You want a challenge? Why don’t you lose your ego and torment someone else. I don’t have time for you games. I don’t want to play with you anymore.” She squirmed, and would have gotten loose had I not let go of her hair and wrapped my other arm around her.

“I’m not playing this time.” I said nuzzling her neck as she continued to squirm. “Besides honey, if you don’t have time for my games, what do you have time for?”

“Anything, anything that is, but you.” She snapped coldly, suddenly holding still, shivering slightly.

“You’re telling me a lie Doll, and you know it. Why won’t you just say yes and get it over with? We’d both be happier then, you know that.”

“Do I now?” She sounded amused by my comment, and I loosened my grip slightly, so I could look in her eyes again.

“Mhm. Of course you do. Or you would have been away by now.” I said smiling lightly, watching her facial expression change as different thoughts fluttered in her mind. They’re so pretty when they’re uncertain about what to do. I took one hand and ran a finger down her cheek. “Don’t you agree with me on that?” She closed her eyes and pulled back, almost as if she was startled.

“It doesn’t matter whether I agree or not.” She replied softly, tipping her head and resting it on my hand, it seemed maybe an answer had entered her mind. “I know no answer I give you would make you let me alone. I don’t want to give you an answer that would do that.” She smiled at me lightly, opening her eyes, and the laughter that normally sparkled in them had replaced the fear. I wasn’t going to get my answer.

I could feel myself shaking slightly as I pulled her closer. “Why won’t you give me an answer? I can’t wait forever you know.”

“No I don’t know. I’m almost tempted to believe that you would.” Her tone was mocking, and her words teased me. She knew me to well. And there was some truth in her words. I wasn’t even sure that I wouldn’t wait.

“Then why make me?” I said kissing the end of her nose, and attempting to sound and look pitiful as I held her close, her body warm next to my own as I kept her in the shadows with me.

“Why shouldn’t I make you wait? There’s so much that I still want to do!” Her mouth twisted into a grin that seemed impish, and I wanted to kiss it. Wanted to use my own mouth to force her mouth to show her mind what she needed. What we needed.

“And why can’t you do all of that with me? There’s no reason that you can’t.” I held myself back, the temptation truly hard to resist.

“True, but just the same…” She tossed her head a bit, and her hair fell over her shoulders. “Is there any good reason why I should do them with you and not alone?” The way she said it, seemed to be almost more than a challenge. What was it that she wanted me to say?

“You can’t be alone forever.” I replied, wracking my brain for a reason besides that. Perhaps there was something that would bring this to an end.

“I’m never alone, as you well know, I’m always with someone. Even now, I’m with you.” She said it so matter of factly that suddenly I felt jealous.

“Yes but do any of them feel the way that I do about you?” I held her tighter, wishing that maybe; just maybe she might see the way that I felt.

“Since I’m not sure how that is, I’m prompted to say that yes. It’s likely some of them do.” Her eyes closed to slits as she smiled like a cat that had just eaten a bird.

“You…you…”I wanted to shake her, and scream, and yell. What did she mean saying that she didn’t know! It had to be clear; I’d tried so hard to show her. But I knew that if I did, there was never going to be a chance to tell her again. That would cut me off from her entirely.

Her eyes seemed to shine, almost as though she knew exactly what she’d said, and exactly how it was that I felt. I couldn’t stop myself, and I kissed her, hard, holding her as tightly and as close as I could.

At first she shook a little, but then she wrapped her arms around me. When I finally pulled away a bit she started to laugh. “So what is that supposed to prove to me Kid? I never said that I doubted you could kiss someone. I’ve seen you kiss people so it’s no big deal.”

“But it is Doll! I’ve been wanting to kiss you…and…and….and…I…I wanted…I wanted to tell you…”

“Whatever it is you want to tell me, certainly seems to have you flustered. Do you suppose you might want to wait and tell me at another time? After all Kid I don’t have forever to stick around as you play around.”

“NO!” I said as I pulled her tight against me again. “I’m not playing around! Can’t you see that?”

She didn’t answer but she snuggled into me, and I felt my stomach do flips. As I buried my face in her hair a thought entered my mind. This was it, this was the cue to tell her, and I knew that I had to get it right. There was no other reason that my stomach would feel like it would jump up through my mouth.

“I love you Doll.” I blurted it out quickly before I had a chance to change my mind. I felt all the air squeezed out of me soon after, as she started laughing, or was it crying. “What is it Doll?” I managed to wheeze out after a bit.

“I was hoping that…that was what you were going to say Kid.” She pulled back a little, and in what light entered the shadows now I could tell that she was a bright shade of red. “But what do you intend to do about it?”

“I intend to keep you…That is if you wouldn’t mind if I did.”

“What if I said that I would mind? What would you do then? After all you know what I’ve got planned for my life.”

“Then I would say that I would wait. Wait as long as you need me to Doll.”

“Kid I don’t want you to wait.”

“Then why are you doing this?”

“What else am I supposed to do? I’m not the one doing anything about this after all Kid.”

“Say that you love me too…that you’ll let me keep you…That you’ll be mine and no one else’s.” I knew that I sounded a little, desperate, but I didn’t want to lose her.

“Sure…why not.” Her answer caught me off guard, but I didn’t dare let her get a chance to change her mind. I leaned over and kissed her again, this time noting that her reaction was almost as impassioned as mine. She murmured something that I didn’t quite catch. But I think that it had to do something with boys playing with dolls. Mentally I couldn’t help but laugh at that.

This boy, only wanted to play with one doll, and now he had her. So there wasn’t anything else that mattered.

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*sulks* I think that there was something else... but i can't remember what it is that i wanted to say. The stress is killing me and i only have so much time left to figure out what I'm doing wrong.... Stupid mythos.

~saved from my old Livejournal~

https://ithilimp.livejournal.com/2004/10/25/