Some people live their whole lives in denial of the truth. Instead they choose to live in some beautiful mockery of reality. I find myself often on the other end of the spectrum. I’ve seen myself as a failure, a nobody fated to fade out of existence at the end of my life. Of late though I’ve been forced to realize that the me I see isn’t the same ‘me’ everyone else sees.
Some may see me as a student, some as a brother or sister, others as just another face in the crowd; another person they’ll never talk to. It’s the people that have taken the time to say hello, that have smiled back, the ones that have cared helped me realize I’m not just another number. I matter.
Yes, I matter. It may sound boastful in a way when I say why. I matter because I can make a difference in someone else’s life; Even if I only meet them for a moment. But how is that relevant really?
I grew up in a large family, my brothers and I weren’t the most popular kids at school. We didn’t have cable, and still don’t. We had the internet for maybe a year at the house, then it was decided that we didn’t need it. It’s available at the library, plus it’s expensive. We learned that just because you want something doesn’t mean that you need it. Our parents worked very hard, and still do, to make sure that we’re good people.
We went to church, and volunteered in the community. Through our volunteer work we not only got to meet other people, but we were able to see how they lived. We got to see how much another person could appreciate what you could give them; Even though sometimes all that we could give them was time. Yet to some people that was worth more than any money or material good. Granted when I was younger that wasn’t exactly something I readily understood.
Now that I’m older I’ve realized that the person I’ve grown to be is strong. For you see, even in the darkest times when my very soul has ached and I couldn’t see a single reason that I shouldn’t give up, there was a nagging voice within me. The little nagging voice told me that if I cheated and cut myself out of reality I’d prove myself to be a hypocrite. Who wants to be proved a hypocrite? I certainly don’t.
A good friend of mine once told me that he was going to kill himself. When he told me the reason why, I couldn’t believe it. He was convinced that no one cared about him and that his life didn’t matter. The very idea seemed strange yet familiar to me because I’ve felt the same way. But the idea that no one cared about him, I couldn’t believe because he mattered to me.
So when I proceeded to try and tempt him to change his mind, I also programmed myself. I told him about what I’ve learned, and what I believe to be true about everyone that has ever lived or died.
I believe that everyone’s life is like a spider web that’s superimposed over another’s web when they meet. No matter how long the meeting, there is a point where the two webs connect. This means that not only those two lives are connected; all of the lives connected to the newly merged webs are also connected. Which basically means that every life there is or has been is connected in some way. This is then balanced by some greater power so as to attempt and aid each of us in our struggle to become the best we might be.
So it is this belief that influences me when I do a kindness to another, or when I hold my tongue when someone hurts me. Because what I do not only influences what will happen to me, it affects what will happen to other people that I know and that the other person in the interaction knows.
Being different in this way, makes it hard sometimes to understand the way that other people act. Which also means sometimes my reactions aren’t certain because there’s a hesitation and question about what may happen. I simply want to do as much good as I can before my number is finally pulled and I’m removed from the game. I might have dark times on occasion when I wonder why I’m alive. But they fade eventually, as the smile comes from aiding another. Kindness, like laughter, is a powerful medicine. It can help us each stay happier, and keep us from distress. Since we should only ever expect from another person what we are willing to offer to them.
So if you’re willing to offer your whole self to the world, the whole world is yours. Just don’t try to claim it. It’s far better to enjoy it as it is, and to help it become better for the present and future since the past can’t be changed. So I’ll strive to make the future better, and hope that I’ll stay strong and make others strong too.
A mountains top is only as stable as its base. Without the base the top would crumble. Through life we are each the mountains top and base. We are the mountain top in our life, and people we know help to keep us from crumbling, or should. Thus we should do the same for them. Please remember to care about your fellow humans, for if you don’t…who knows what may happen.
Some may see me as a student, some as a brother or sister, others as just another face in the crowd; another person they’ll never talk to. It’s the people that have taken the time to say hello, that have smiled back, the ones that have cared helped me realize I’m not just another number. I matter.
Yes, I matter. It may sound boastful in a way when I say why. I matter because I can make a difference in someone else’s life; Even if I only meet them for a moment. But how is that relevant really?
I grew up in a large family, my brothers and I weren’t the most popular kids at school. We didn’t have cable, and still don’t. We had the internet for maybe a year at the house, then it was decided that we didn’t need it. It’s available at the library, plus it’s expensive. We learned that just because you want something doesn’t mean that you need it. Our parents worked very hard, and still do, to make sure that we’re good people.
We went to church, and volunteered in the community. Through our volunteer work we not only got to meet other people, but we were able to see how they lived. We got to see how much another person could appreciate what you could give them; Even though sometimes all that we could give them was time. Yet to some people that was worth more than any money or material good. Granted when I was younger that wasn’t exactly something I readily understood.
Now that I’m older I’ve realized that the person I’ve grown to be is strong. For you see, even in the darkest times when my very soul has ached and I couldn’t see a single reason that I shouldn’t give up, there was a nagging voice within me. The little nagging voice told me that if I cheated and cut myself out of reality I’d prove myself to be a hypocrite. Who wants to be proved a hypocrite? I certainly don’t.
A good friend of mine once told me that he was going to kill himself. When he told me the reason why, I couldn’t believe it. He was convinced that no one cared about him and that his life didn’t matter. The very idea seemed strange yet familiar to me because I’ve felt the same way. But the idea that no one cared about him, I couldn’t believe because he mattered to me.
So when I proceeded to try and tempt him to change his mind, I also programmed myself. I told him about what I’ve learned, and what I believe to be true about everyone that has ever lived or died.
I believe that everyone’s life is like a spider web that’s superimposed over another’s web when they meet. No matter how long the meeting, there is a point where the two webs connect. This means that not only those two lives are connected; all of the lives connected to the newly merged webs are also connected. Which basically means that every life there is or has been is connected in some way. This is then balanced by some greater power so as to attempt and aid each of us in our struggle to become the best we might be.
So it is this belief that influences me when I do a kindness to another, or when I hold my tongue when someone hurts me. Because what I do not only influences what will happen to me, it affects what will happen to other people that I know and that the other person in the interaction knows.
Being different in this way, makes it hard sometimes to understand the way that other people act. Which also means sometimes my reactions aren’t certain because there’s a hesitation and question about what may happen. I simply want to do as much good as I can before my number is finally pulled and I’m removed from the game. I might have dark times on occasion when I wonder why I’m alive. But they fade eventually, as the smile comes from aiding another. Kindness, like laughter, is a powerful medicine. It can help us each stay happier, and keep us from distress. Since we should only ever expect from another person what we are willing to offer to them.
So if you’re willing to offer your whole self to the world, the whole world is yours. Just don’t try to claim it. It’s far better to enjoy it as it is, and to help it become better for the present and future since the past can’t be changed. So I’ll strive to make the future better, and hope that I’ll stay strong and make others strong too.
A mountains top is only as stable as its base. Without the base the top would crumble. Through life we are each the mountains top and base. We are the mountain top in our life, and people we know help to keep us from crumbling, or should. Thus we should do the same for them. Please remember to care about your fellow humans, for if you don’t…who knows what may happen.
