Gaming : Quote Sheet From The Past

If you've ever done table top gaming (ok, any type of gaming actually) You know that there are often moments that end up causing a lot of laughter among a group of people. This particular quote sheet is kind of old, and comes from July 2007. I'm looking around to see what other sheets might be kicking around. I'll probably share them as well because it's amusing to remember the good times.

I believe these quotes are from a Ravenloft campaign. I had the quote sheet thanks to Keri.

The things you remember. The things you wish you could forget. You never know what shows up in the quote sheets.

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Tyler: Horror checks are kind of like sanity checks.
Keri: I keep hearing that as "whore checks."
Liz: Yeah, Joe, roll a whore check, you've got a bunch of women chasing after you not wearing anything.
Michelle: Wouldn't a whore check be to protect against STDs?

Tyler: Like level 0 village people.
Keri: What? Oh, you mean people from the village, not like Village People the band.
Michelle: You killed the Indian!

Tyler: Okay, Keri, you come into being tied up on a horse in the middle of the marsh.
Keri: Kinky.
Liz: Does she have clothing?
Tyler: *grabs dice*
Keri: What are you doing?
Michelle: He's rolling a clothing check.

Liz: So that's why I healed him, little one.
Michelle: I'm way the hell behind you. You're not making snide remarks to me.
Joe: She's talking to a snake or something.
Michelle: Yeah. "That's why I healed him" and then it's like *snap!* Aaahhh!

Liz: Because I'm within touch range and he's doing more damage than I am, I'm gonna grab him...
Tyler: Kinky.
Michelle: I'm telling you, that Book of Erotic Fantasy is going to come out any minute now.
Joe: I think I'm the wrong height for that.
Michelle: Roll for your sexual response to her touch. Oh, Joe, that was a BAD time to fumble.

Liz: I think it's a little too big. Pencil?
Keri: Wait, what about the pencil?
Michelle: I don't think I want to touch anything you've touched...

Great moments in precognition:
Michelle: Here comes a 1!
Joe: *rolls a 1*

Michelle: He kills the enemy and lops your head off. Everyone's a winner!

Keri: Okay, so I stand up and stop drowning?
Tyler: Hey, smarter than the ranger!

Keri: Wait, it's her horse? Why am I on her horse?
Liz: That's a good question. What're you doing with my horse?
Keri: Oh well, you know, he and I really hit it off, we eloped...
Michelle: Is bestiality okay in Ravenloft?
Liz: Probably!

Liz: Handle animal.
Keri: Emphasis on the "handle."
Tyler: Is that why the horse liked you so much?
Michelle: Man, that horse gets around. Oh, I get it. Whore-se.
Keri: Roll a whore check?
Michelle: This just keeps devolving.

Joe: The Circlet of Sex Change fell off.

Joe: Is there anything on this old hag? Oh, wait, I mean night-hag. Some kind of hag, anyway.

Joe: Do you know the Muffin Man?
Keri: Yes, in fact, I do. I killed him and brought him back as an undead creature, and he makes baked goods at my bidding.
Joe: Un-baked goods.

Joe: If we see a vampire, should we ask if he has wall meat?
Michelle: We should ask how well-cooked it is.

Liz: I'm going to assume you want it.
Michelle: *looks dismayed*
Keri: Informed consent! Informed consent!

Michelle: Can I appraise her gems even though she didn't ask, just to look?
Tyler: Sure, if you want to grab her gems.
Michelle: His gems. "Excuse me, sir, you seem very masculine, may I touch your gems?"

Tyler: *on the phone* Aside from the shit in the fridge?
Joe: Ew, you store it in there?
Keri: That's probably not sanitary.
Joe: I hope it has its own drawer, at least.

Michelle: Are you going to probe him with your wand? "You were turned into a mutant cow that was promptly eaten by the rest of the party."
Keri: *to Joe* Wouldn't that be cannibalism for you?

Liz: *looking at the book* Ew, what's that scary-looking thing?
Michelle: That's Joe.

Tyler: Which way do you want to go?
Keri: Can we go the way without the freaking dragon? Is there a sign saying "dragon this way, not dragon that way"?
Tyler: *chokes on his drink*
Michelle: You killed the DM!

Liz: I'm hanging out with the hottie.
Keri: Me? I'm creepy. I'd probably look at you like I want to kill you and nail your insides to a tree.

Michelle: You two get some sleep. Don't do anything funny.
Liz: Nothing kinky in the tent?
Keri: You, me, your insides, the tree...
Michelle: That sounds like a terrible song.

Liz: I miss my horse.
Michelle: Is that what you dream about at night?

Joe: *answers the phone* Hi, hon.
Liz: Is that Jacqueline?
Michelle: No, he regularly answers "Hi, hon" when his dad calls, actually.

Liz: I think there's something out there. You should go investigate. Come on, be a man!
Joe: I find it interesting that the fighter is sending the cleric out.

Joe: I can take out my fuzzy blue sack.
Liz: Do you need Joe's sack?
Keri: Don't we all. Don't we all.
Michelle: Do we all? Do we all?

Tyler: The remaining three rats run off into the water.
Liz: Wait, they go in water? They're water rats?
Joe: You do know rats go in water in the sewers, right?
Liz: Ew!
Keri: What did you think they did, ride on little rafts?
Jacqueline: That's where the Spanish got the idea for boats.
Michelle: Yeah. "Armada" came from an old Spanish word for rat.

Liz: Ratboat sounds like a racial slur.
Joe: For what race? Rat people?
Michelle: Hey, don't be dissing on Splinter!

Michelle: Everybody steals from everybody else.
Jacqueline: Really? I'm going to try that at the store. *eating motions* "Everyone steals from everyone! This is a P2P network!"

Michelle: It was too much Ravenloft! We can't take you to the zoo, you'll kill the peacocks.

Liz: Mark still comes! You just don't come!
Everyone: *chuckling, slowly building to laughter*
Liz: *long pause* Aaaugh!

Tyler: *on the phone* That's what you get for picking up four-year-olds.
Keri: What? Isn't that illegal?
Liz: Sounds kinky, Tyler.

Michelle: I have to find a way to get Guitar Hero here. The guitar controller doesn't fit in anything.
Tyler: Use a Bag of Holding?

Keri: The naked cowboy does not conform to your standards of beauty.