Travel

Sometimes we have to make choices and decisions that will change things for more than just ourselves. These moments in turn help to define each of us as individuals. Over time we show change, and we learn how to overcome adversity and fear. It is by acceptance of who and what we are that we learn how to do things the way that we need to. We can be courageous, we can be afraid, and we can hesitate. But in the end we can't really expect change to stop just because we don't want it to happen.

Change is inevitable.

In this particular instance I'm changing again. In some ways it's not really drastic. But I want to try and be accepting. I want to try and stay focused. I want to try an make sure things go right from here on in. But we all know that nothing ever goes according to plan. If it did go according to plan we would be very cynical. Because not everyone agrees as to how something should go.

We don't always get what we want. Sometimes we have to travel, to learn about ourselves and see the world in a new light. It's time to travel again. But waiting to go has been driving me absolutely nuts. You have no idea how crazy it drives me to wait and not know what is really going to happen. Today's the day to travel though. So don't be surprised if you see some odd content in the future, or a changed theme in posts.

Buffalo is much colder than San Diego this time of year. I'm not looking forward to the snow. In fact I'm dreading it to a certain degree. It's been a while since you heard anything personal from me. The reasons why are a bit complex. But you may hear a bit more from me soon enough about new things, new place, and old faces. Though many of the new places are really old ones just getting to be seen again.

I don't know what to do with myself to be honest. I've been going through a bit of irritation and annoyance trying to decide. But I'm at a loss. There's so much to do, and so much that is going to be hard to work through. I'm sure that it will be fine though.

I just need to learn to be more patient.

"I hate being patient! Patience is for wimps."

Oh and side note... Look what I have to look forward to.

Frozen Waters of Niagara Falls Area
 (From https://twitter.com/CBSPittsburgh/status/421479256510578688/photo/1 )

Teddy Has Surgery

Why am I posting this? Because sometimes we need a little reassurance. We're not always perfect. Sometimes we're not sweet. There are also times where we are afraid, and there are plenty of reasons we should try to get past moments like those. So keep your chin up, things will turn out just fine.

Social Acceptance

Accepting people for who and what they are can be a very difficult thing. It's a very scary thing to realize that you're the outsider and that there isn't a place for you. That's how I feel lately. I'm from the outside, and don't belong here. I think  that it's something that's supposed to fade over time. But does it really?

There are a lot of things that make people different. We each have our own unique sets of experiences that influence the way that we interact with the world. It's not just how we look, or what we wear. It's how we present ourselves. We have a lot to offer to the world when it comes to the way we interpret our experiences. What we've seen and done can help others to understand what it is that they're going through.

But there are so many hurdles that are put up in order to keep people away from us. We don't like strangers, we don't like things that we don't understand, and we fear change. I am not sure what to think as I'm trying to fit into the new place that I find myself in. But it's not as easy as just changing clothes or cutting my hair. Trust me, if it really was as easy as cutting all of my hair off then that's what I would do.

But to earn Social Acceptance means trying to jump through hoops that other people are putting up. People tend to expect them to be leapt through without telling you what they are. Which leaves people grasping at straws. There are many things that people can do, but we can't read other peoples minds. At least, not reliably.

Socially, it's scary when trying to be accepted. But there is nothing that there is that can make it any easier. We can try to offer what we have, or we can shut ourselves off. There aren't clear ways to do these things. Why? Because there is no right or wrong answer.

I'm frustrated. I'm scared, I'm sad, and am lonely. All in all it leaves me feeling kind of depressed and hopeless. But...It doesn't really matter. None of these feelings are going to help me find an sort of acceptance here at all. But I guess that it doesn't really matter. Why?

Because in the long run it isn't going to change anything. What I feel doesn't change the social hierarchy of the place I've entered. What I want to do, what I think might fix something, doesn't matter. I can't fix things if other people want to see me fail. I don't know what I want right now, but I'm tired.

I'm so tired already.