Just Visiting : Shakespeare in Delaware Park : Merry Wives of Windsor

With summer vacation cropping up, a lot of us are looking for family friendly events that won't break our pocket book. Look no further than our own backyard here in Buffalo, NY, because Shakespeare in Delaware Park is ready to start again, and this season's first show is the Merry Wives of Windsor.

image from Shakespeare in Delaware Park Website

Merry Wives of Windsor
Shakespeare in Delaware Park
June 22,2017 through July 16, 2017

Tuesday through sunday evenings at 7:30 pm you can enjoy a free evening of professional theatre. Bring a blanket or chair to sit on, your own refreshments and someone to enjoy the show with, unless you prefer to sit alone. They do accept donations.

Like past years I do recommend that you head to the park earlier than show time to get better seats, as it is frequently crowded. There are some restaurants in the area, but it's better to bring something with you to enjoy during the show.

If you're uncertain as to the part of Delaware Park the stage is located in, it's basically behind the Albright Knox Art Gallery. Please keep in mind that parking is on a first come first serve basis, so if you wish to park closer to the event you should go early. If you have children there is a wonderful playground close to the staging area so the kids can play before the show if you come early enough.

Anyway, have fun and I hope you all get a chance to check it out.

Just Visiting : Shakespeare In Delaware Park : The COMEDY of ERRORS

Alright, hopefully some of you got the chance to see Henry V earlier this summer. But now it's time to let you know about the next play that's coming up on the green.  The Comedy of Errors. And as a side note, they're supposedly doing it up steampunk. Or so the posters would have us believe. I'm very excited about this.

This is the art that they have up as a promotion/advertisement. It Shows Both the plays they've had this summer.

Alright, and because I'm not feeling like trying to be overly creative and don't really have a lot of time to write currently; If you're a regular reader you may recognize the following content slightly. PAY ATTENTION TO THE DATES!!!

Now remember, you'll be able to see this play Tuesday through Sunday from July 24th through August 17th. The performances start at 7:30 pm (and that's the local time in Buffalo). And they recommend coming at least half an hour early to make sure you have a chance to get seated and park. There's no parking, it's all on street parking, so it is a first come first serve basis. If you're not sure where to find the part of Delaware Park where they'll be having the play, it's on Shakespeare Hill which is more or less right behind the Albright-Knox Art Gallery.

So why should you go? Well, it's technically a free family friendly event. They do accept donations, and it's a blessing when you're able to help. You can pack a picnic, sit out in the summer air and enjoy a great theater show. They're perfectly happy to see you eating and drinking and enjoying the actors. There are no seats provided, so you'll want to take a blanket or lawn chair to sit on.

The Comedy of Errors
Shakespeare in Delaware Park
199 Lincoln Pkwy, Buffalo, NY

7:30 pm Tuesdays through Sundays‎
July 24th - August 17th

Just Visiting : Shakespeare In Delaware Park : HENRY V

That's right with the warm days of summer comes the outdoor activities we all enjoy. I'm sure some of you remember last year when I noted about the theater in Delaware Park. They're going into their 39th season, which is an amazing blessing for the city. The group really is a city treasure. And they're starting off this summer with Henry V.

The description makes it sound like it is going to be a lot of fun to see. So make some time to check it out. You can go with your friends, your family, or maybe even with some new friends. Just go ahead and have a good time. It sounds like this play might have some dancing too... might be different.

Now remember, you'll be able to see this play Tuesday through Sunday from June 19th through July 13th. The performance starts at 7:30 pm (and that's the local time in Buffalo). And they recommend coming at least half an hour early to make sure you have a chance to get seated and park. There's no parking, it's all on street parking, so it is a first come first serve basis. If you're not sure where to find the part of Delaware Park where they'll be having the play, it's on Shakespeare Hill which is more or less right behind the Albright-Knox Art Gallery.

So why should you go? Well, it's technically a free family friendly event. They do accept donations, and it's a blessing when you're able to help. You can pack a picnic, sit out in the summer air and enjoy a great theater show. They're perfectly happy to see you eating and drinking and enjoying the actors. There are no seats provided, so you'll want to take a blanket or lawn chair to sit on.

Henry V
Shakespeare in Delaware Park
199 Lincoln Pkwy, Buffalo, NY

7:30 pm Tuesdays through Sundays‎
June 19th - July 13th

Travel

Sometimes we have to make choices and decisions that will change things for more than just ourselves. These moments in turn help to define each of us as individuals. Over time we show change, and we learn how to overcome adversity and fear. It is by acceptance of who and what we are that we learn how to do things the way that we need to. We can be courageous, we can be afraid, and we can hesitate. But in the end we can't really expect change to stop just because we don't want it to happen.

Change is inevitable.

In this particular instance I'm changing again. In some ways it's not really drastic. But I want to try and be accepting. I want to try and stay focused. I want to try an make sure things go right from here on in. But we all know that nothing ever goes according to plan. If it did go according to plan we would be very cynical. Because not everyone agrees as to how something should go.

We don't always get what we want. Sometimes we have to travel, to learn about ourselves and see the world in a new light. It's time to travel again. But waiting to go has been driving me absolutely nuts. You have no idea how crazy it drives me to wait and not know what is really going to happen. Today's the day to travel though. So don't be surprised if you see some odd content in the future, or a changed theme in posts.

Buffalo is much colder than San Diego this time of year. I'm not looking forward to the snow. In fact I'm dreading it to a certain degree. It's been a while since you heard anything personal from me. The reasons why are a bit complex. But you may hear a bit more from me soon enough about new things, new place, and old faces. Though many of the new places are really old ones just getting to be seen again.

I don't know what to do with myself to be honest. I've been going through a bit of irritation and annoyance trying to decide. But I'm at a loss. There's so much to do, and so much that is going to be hard to work through. I'm sure that it will be fine though.

I just need to learn to be more patient.

"I hate being patient! Patience is for wimps."

Oh and side note... Look what I have to look forward to.

Frozen Waters of Niagara Falls Area
 (From https://twitter.com/CBSPittsburgh/status/421479256510578688/photo/1 )

Just Visiting : Shakespeare in Delaware Park : Measure for Measure

July 25th through August 18th you lucky folks out in Buffalo have a chance to enjoy yet another Shakespeare play. Shakespeare in Delaware Park is presenting Measure for Measure. If you missed their presentation of Hamlet, don't fret. They may not be presenting Hamlet, but this comedy is sure to amuse you.

Unlike some other versions of this play you may have seen, the company has taken the liberty of making it into a western. Yes, that's right a Shakespeare western. Not that might sound a bit odd to those of you who are hesitant to watch even the more modern Romeo and Juliet renditions, but live theater is a horse of a different color.

I do want to remind you, that seating and parking for the play is on a first come first serve basis. Take a blanket, some snacks and be ready to get comfortable. The play is free, though during intermission they do pass a hat to help with funding, so figure, if you can, about the price of a movie or so.

Measure for Measure
Shakespeare in Delaware Park
7:30 pm Tuesdays through Sundays
July 25th through August 18th

Just Visiting : Shakespeare in Delaware Park : Hamlet

Everyone is looking for something different to do now that school is out. Summer is just that time of year when it seems there is either not enough time to do anything, or there is far too much time and nothing to do. Whichever way you look at it there is bound to be some free time in your summer at some point. You're waiting for me to tell you what I have in mind for you to do with it aren't you? Don't rush me!

What I have to recommend to you today is the Shakespeare in Delaware Park's 2013 productions. As they do every year they will be presenting 2 plays. But because I don't want you to feel daunted. I'm just going to let you know about the one that is starting this week. Hamlet.

As it does every year (as long as I can remember having attended it anyway) they will be presenting the play at 7:30 pm nightly, Tuesday through Sunday. As to what kind of take they're going to have on the play, that's up to the director. Please be advised that parking and seating is first come first serve, so if you want to enjoy it, make sure that you get there a little early.

The play will be acted from June 20th through July 14th. I do hope that you get the chance to go and enjoy it. I would love to see it myself, but I'm here in California at the moment. But we'll see what we can come up with to compensate for missing the play.

As far as directions and the address go, I must apologize for being a bit fuzzy on the details. But if you know where the Albright Knox Art museum is, the performances are held in the bit of the park past the rose garden across the street.

Just Visiting : The Buffalo and Erie County Botanical Gardens

Plants are interesting things. They make oxygen, can be used in cooking, and have all kinds of uses in our daily lives. We don't really know all of them. Well, some people may know a number of their  uses, but no one knows every secret that a plant might have. This Friday, May 10th, is National Public Gardens Day. So to celebrate this holiday The Buffalo and Erie County Botanical Gardens is having a special discounted admission where it is only a dollar to come in and view the beautiful plants and displays inside. The Garden is open from 10 am until 5pm that day, so remember to plan your visit accordingly.

The tri-dome greenhouse was built between the years 1897-1899, and at the time it was one of the largest greenhouses in the United States.  It is one of less than twelve Victorian conservatories in America, and there is only one other tri-dome garden, the New York Botanical Gardens which is in the Bronx. The building itself was based on famous gardens of the time period that were in England.

Since then it has grown, and currently covers 11.4 acres of the Buffalo South Park. It isn't only the three domed greenhouse, but also nine other greenhouses. They also have a 9 hole golf course in the area, which was settled into an area of the park called the meadow in 1915. The garden houses plants not only from the temperate climate it is located in, but also the tropic and sub tropic climates. They hold a variety of events there through the year.

This is a historical site that is recognized nationally.

Buffalo Botanical Gardens
2655 South Park Avenue
Buffalo, New York 14218 

The Garden is Open to the Public :
10:00am - 5:00pm Monday - Sunday
Closed on Thanksgiving Day
Closed on Christmas Day
10am-12pm on Christmas Eve (December 24)
10am-12pm on New Year's Eve (December 31)


The Botanical Gardens are fully handicapped accessible.

Admission to the Garden during it's everyday operations are:
Adults - $7
Seniors (55+) - $6
Students (13+ with ID) -  $6
Children 3 to 12 are $4
Children under 3 are Free

During some special events and shows the prices may be a bit higher.

Just Visiting : The Albright-Knox Art Gallery

The Albright-Knox Art Gallery is an interesting place to see, for both visitors and the people that live in the City of Buffalo. Like many art galleries it has visiting art pieces, as well as a number of pieces that are constantly on display there within the building. They tend to have selections that are modern and contemporary available for viewing.

During M&T FIRST FRIDAYS the gallery is open from 10 am–10 pm. These happen on the first Friday of each month. What's special about these days? Admission to the Gallery is free. And if I'm correct that means that today is the first Friday event. ( I know this one is a bit late in it's posting for planning, my bad.)

For those wondering what the current exhibits are in the Gallery (besides the ones that are there all the time);
Agnes Martin: The New York-Taos Connection
Dennis Maher: House of Collective Repair
Kelly Richardson: Legion
Looking Out and Looking In: A Selection of Contemporary Photography
Artworks in the Knox (Education Exhibition)
=REMEMBER THAT EXHIBITS CHANGE=

What's the address?
Albright-Knox Art Gallery
1285 Elmwood Avenue
Buffalo, New York 14222

Just Visiting : Buffalo Historical Museum

The Buffalo Historical Museum has been documenting and caring for the history of the Niagara Region since 1862. The museum itself offers a number of displays and activities. These include activities aimed towards younger guests to the museum. That said it is a recommended destination for those visiting or living in the Buffalo area. A beautiful place for pictures, as well as full of fascinating exhibits and collections.

Exhibits at the museum include :
Community Gallery
Bflo.Made! (an exhibit displaying and showing off inventions, products, and artifacts made in Western New York)
Neighbors : The People Of Erie County
Native American Gallery
Street of Shops
John R. Oishei Pioneer Gallery
Spirit of the City : Imagining the Pan-American Exposition

Some of their Collections include displays of :
Iroquis
War of 1812
Erie Canal
Lives of Three Presidents
Industrialization
Immigrants
Aviation and the War Effort
Textiles
Paintings
Glass and Ceramics

The Buffalo Historical Museum offers free admission to visitors on the third Friday of every month. The doors open at 10 am and close at 5 pm, unless otherwise stated. They sometimes offer tours, as well as other exhibits. Some exhibits may require a separate viewing fee to enjoy them.

Buffalo Historical Museum
One Museum Court
Buffalo, NY 14216.

The Dates for the Third Friday's for the rest of the year are as follows. Hopefully this can help you plan your trip if you're interested in seeing the museum, and are there during the times listed you can enjoy it free or at a discount.

April 19th                   
May 17th
June 21st
July 19th
Aug 16th
Sept 20th
Oct 18th
Nov 15th
Dec 20th

Locally Grown : Cute Is What We Aim For

Music is an ever changing thing, and everyone takes something different from this fascinating art. Not only that there are always amazing things to learn. An example of this is that I recently learned, much to my surprise, a group that I've come to enjoy listening to is actually from Buffalo. I know, it shouldn't be a shock that I had no idea about where they're from. Most people generally don't know much about a band unless they're really into the group.

Anyway Cute Is What We Aim For is a band, not the newest band, but a good band just the same. I highly recommend them for those looking for some fun light rock music to listen to. Originally formed in 1999 there in Buffalo, New York they're a reminder that if you work at it, you can succeed. in 2001 they signed to a label, and have two albums out. The band line up changed over time, but that's not an unusual practice.

I know that there's a lot of you that love music. We all know not everyone is going to be a rock star, but there's nothing holding you back from using your musical talents for good. You can always volunteer with some of your friends to play some music at the community center for a small party, or maybe you could sing for some folks at the nursing home.

Anyway, what I mean to say is that you don't have to go somewhere flashy to be somebody. You don't have to have a lot of money. You don't HAVE to hurt other people. The Locally Grown section is going to be presenting (sometimes in just small doses) people that are local to either Buffalo or San Diego, and sometimes, just offering a thought. It's not always about history, but rather enjoying the world around us. We're all part of this place, and if we work together it can be a wonderful place to live.

Cute Is What We Aim For

Basic information concerning the bands evolving over time and members can be viewed HERE

Death is not a Solution

People are seeing suicides mentioned in the news, in magazines, and in newspapers frequently these days. Which may make them seem like an okay thing. But what people are forgetting is that death, is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It is in fact not a solution at all. Why? Once you're dead there is no way to change it, and there is no way to solve the problem or issue that was bothering you.

What are some of the reasons that people commit suicide? Some people think that their mistakes are irreversible, and that there is no way to solve a problem that's been presented to them. Some people are depressed, and believe that death is the only way to alleviate the feeling. There are others, who may be suffering from some form of psychosis. The mental disease may make them believe they have nothing better to expect in life. Then there are those who commit suicide on impulse, often influenced by the use of drugs and/or alcohol. Then there are some who turn to suicide, because they don't know how to ask for the help that they need.

Some quick facts and thoughts on the matter. Suicide is considered to be the 10th leading cause of death in the whole world. Two of the most common methods being hanging and the use of firearms. In some countries attempting suicide is considered to be a crime. In fact even some religions view it as wrong.

Death is not something that can be changed once it has occurred.It's not something to laugh about, and it's not something to joke about. If you really are feeling as though there is nothing left for you, talk to somebody. Feelings change, and so do situations and the things that are happening around us. There are friends, and family who can help you. Or if you're uncomfortable approaching them you can talk to a counselor. If you still are unsure you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-888-273-8255. You can call and talk to them about anything. In fact they're available 24/7 if you need to talk about anything.

NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE

More information can be found at the library, counselor centers or online if you want to learn more about this. Don't be afraid to reach out for help if you ever feel that death is your only option. If you don't ask for it, how can anyone be sure you need it? Also, please remember to be there for your friends. Don't blow them off if they mention wanting to hurt themselves, it's not a laughing matter.

Check these links for more information. Teenage Suicide Information  and Wiki Information on Suicide

History and Music : The Sullivans

Artists are often inspired by things that happen in the world around them. Whether it's romance, amusements, war, or any other activity doesn't matter. They're often written in a romanticized manner which can often make an activity seem less threatening. Though some music is very effective at causing people to become interested in history, and look into things to learn. Not all things that are what they seem, and there can be a bit of depth to things.

As an example of this I'd like to share a song called "Sullivan" By Caroline's Spine with you. The song is based on something that happened during WWII. There's even a movie based on the event called The Fighting Sullivans. To keep things fairly short and simple though, the ship that the five Sullivan's were on was sunk by a torpedo, and through various events the five men died(can read specifics and things concerning it HERE). This song is basically a nod to the family, referencing their mother on the most part.

It's a well done song, and it isn't offensive. There are multiple dissections of the lyrics and examinations online but I think the song speaks for itself. I'd like to mention for our younger readers back in Buffalo, that you can see one of the two ships that's been named The Sullivans right there in Buffalo at the naval park. The destroyer ship was donated to the city's park in the late 1970's, after having been kept in the ship reserves. I bet you could even do a nice project on the ship for school. Ask your mom, I know she'd LOVE to take you to see it.

"Change Your Blue Star To Gold." This is a reference to a practice that was adopted by people during WWI which has since become common practice. It refers to a plain white background flag with a blue trim that has a Blue star on it which is displayed to represent that a family member is serving active duty. When the flag changes, to a gold star, it lets people know that the family member has passed away during service without having to specify how.

Not Your Home town Hero (1)

All our lives we look for somewhere that we fit. We go through the motions of daily life, some of us losing our way and becoming listless and empty. But what if the time we spend here is only being used as a training ground? The idea isn't comforting, since in truth, the fear of the unknown riddles the world with a whole lot of negativity.

Understanding nothing, and standing before the pearly gates of Heaven in my worn out sneakers and thrashed jeans I was worried. All my life I had been rather skeptical about the whole Heaven thing. Sure, I'd gone to church with my family, but that didn't mean I was subscribed to the daily bread.Besides, as far as I was concerned, it wasn't my time yet. I mean, no one wants it to be their time. But I'd been on my way to an audition. One that I was sure I was going to land.

By the time Saint Peter called my name I was very angry. I felt robbed, and I wasted no time in letting him know it.

"You know, It's not fair! Just when I was finally getting somewhere in life I end up here!"

The Saint laughed, his blue eyes mirthful with a hint of understanding in the corners. "Yes, many of us feel that way when we first get here. But fair isn't the point. Need is. Besides child, would you rather be at the gates of hell?" His tone was teasing, but I still felt slightly shocked.

"Need?" I responded once I got control of my mouth again.

"Oh yes, you're needed here on this side. A guardian angel can't masquerade down there among people forever you know." He responded simply, as though it was something that should have been obvious to me.

"You're joking right?" Though I knew it was a bit improbable I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as a chill raced down my spine.

"No, we don't joke too often here at the gates these days. We've found it holds up progress." His tone implied that he was already getting annoyed. and as he glanced over my shoulder at the throng of people waiting to be admitted, I knew I didn't have much time left with him. "If you'd kindly enter the gates of Heaven you can report to the Angel Hope. He can fill you in on your duties." He waved his hand, and I felt shooed towards the gate by invisible hands as the gates opened.

"Answers!" I shouted over my shoulder as I passed the gates. "I hope he has answers!"

The gates shut behind me with a slight snapping sound. And there was silence. Looking through the bars behind me, I saw nothing outside them. Before me, wasn't the classic heavenly scene the books and movies often offered. No streets of gold. Instead I saw what appeared to be a copy of my home city of Buffalo, built of some sort of silvery opalescent material. And I was standing on main street. Slightly baffled by this, I shrugged and proceeded to wak along it. I hadn't been walking far when I saw it.

Hope's Guardian Angel Agency. The sign was large, hanging over the entrance to what had been the main place mall on earth. The idea that anyone would revive the old place in such a way, amused me. As I made my way towards the doors I could feel a smile twisting my lips. If only my cousin could see this. I was just about to pull the door open, when a hand rested on my shoulder.

"Don't bother going in yet. Someone told me you have questions."

I looked over my shoulder, and felt the color as it heated my cheeks. Ok, whoever had decided that the dead didn't feel anything was wrong. Because as I met those green eyes with my own, I felt a lot of things rush over me.

"Hey! Hey! None of that now! It's not a good time to get distracted. I need you back out to earth as soon as possible kid." He smiled pulling his hand back, slowly brushing it through his red hair. "Someone really needs you."

"Yes....well... I need answers." I finally responded while smoothing my shabby clothes in an attempt to appear more presentable. "He said they don't like jokes at the door. But the irony is that I was on my way to an angel audition when I ended up here. "

"Yeah, That was my ad."

Shock hit me, and I blacked out.

Comparing Commercials

So one of the things that I have noticed since getting here is that there are some commercials that are the same. State Farm, Binder & Binder, and some of the restaurant commercials are the same. But one thing that I have really noticed is that while in Buffalo there are a good number of commercials about cruises and trips to go to warm places. Here in San Diego there are a lot of commercials showing snowy places, skiing, and snowboarding.

Just thought I'd let you know about that observance. (I still don't miss the snow though, just so you know.)

Tattoos On This Town

Jason Aldean : Tattoos on This Town

Again, a good song. Makes me miss Buffalo. ~_~ Miss You guys tons and tons!

Work, Weather, and Video Game

Alright ^_^ So today we're going to have a quick update about the activities and daily events that Have been going on for me. To be honest, I don't really have too much to tell you about. I'm going to tell you a little bit about work, the weather, and maybe my video game. Which might not sound like anything you want to know about, but it ~IS~ what I have to talk about.

So I did manage to get hired into a job last week. So far it isn't bad. It's got alright hours, so I can't complain too much there. Am currently full time and right now am doing 11:30 am to 8:00 pm Monday through Friday, with a morning shift on Saturday from 9 am until 1  or 2 pm. I dealt with a of of rejection during my shifts the other day, but it's a job. When I had my interview I had to take a drug test, and it was different. They gave me this spongy thing on the end of a stick, and I had to hold it on my tongue and get it all squishy and gross. Let me tell you, the after taste was totally gross XD. Anyway, what I'm getting at is with the work schedule, I might not have as many things posted up here for you guys. Am sorry ~_~. But I am going to try my best still to make sure that I don't let too much time lapse between posts.

The weather has been varied. Some days it's cool, but yesterday it was very warm. I think they said it was 80 degrees out yesterday. I'm still not used to it being so warm. I wonder how long it will take for me to become accustomed to it. I'm not sure, I just hope that at some point soon I get more comfortable with it. I'm not saying I miss the cold (I don't!), but I'm not used to being so warm either.

In my video game the march edition of the gacha arcade has opened up. But atm I can't go. But it's still fun to watch everyone trading things in the group. I do plan to go and see about dragging a few things home with me, but for now meh. It's not a necessity and I'm not too worried about it.

Anyway, hopefully I will have more to tell you about later this week. I'm still getting into the swing of things, so hopefully I get some sort of schedule lined up so that I have something to tell you about. Until then, am going to leave you with a cute song. It might not be extremely nice, but it always makes me smile. And that's what matters. I'll drop you a post again soon!

Traveling 2/13

So today has been a very long day for me already. We left the house around 3:30 AM and I was checked in and through security by 4:30 AM. I had to throw a few things away out of my suitcase, but... it could have been worse I suppose. I keep reminding myself that it's just stuff. It isn't like I can't get new stuff. But I like my old familiar stuff. I know what it is and I know what I have...er, rather I know what I had.

It was  really nice to see almost everyone yesterday before I left. I know that there are some people that I didn't get a chance to see before I left this morning. But no worries! I will be back eventually. You all know I'm like a weed, my roots go deep and I always come back... it may take a bit of time but I rarely go away for long.

Cayden made me a neat play dough man who's been keeping me company at the airports. He's still a little squishy but am guessing he will harden up some as time goes by. Which is good I suppose. There's a little boy here at the airport in Minnesota and he has on the same monster pajamas that Gavin has. Phi wanted to see a Moose. *points below* Best I can do hun. But maybe once I get to Cali there will be some more interesting things that I can post pictures of.

Anyway. I still have a long flight from here to San Diego. Not that it's a bad thing. Am just very very very tired ~_~. Plus I feel achy and my shoulders hurt. I really should have thought out my packing better. Meh, lesson learned a little bit too late. But yeah, am on my way. Things are new, and there's going to be a lot to do and figure out. But for now... I just have to wait out the day as I travel. It's tiresome, tedious and frustrating. But it's ok, it is really really ok. I have things to look forward to, as well as worry about. But yes. A bit longer before I actually get to San Diego. But at least you have this update for now.

From Cheerios to California

The city nearest where I have lived most of my life so far, has a tendency to smell like Cheerios. It's actually a well known fact that amuses a lot of people.  They even have shirts that declare it. There are two seasons, Winter and Construction. And there are definitely some of the best people you will ever meet to be found in the areas around the City of Buffalo. There's Shakespeare in Delaware Park, Forest Lawn Cemetery to picnic in, The Albright Knox Art Gallery, and thousands of events and places to see throughout the year.

California on the other hand, isn't someplace that I honestly know much about.

It never really was something I ever planned to do. Moving so far away from everything I ever knew. A few hours away, yeah maybe that had crossed my mind. But across the country? Maybe in those moments of wishful hopeful dreaming that I had when I was a kid. But this move has nothing to do with a dream.

This move is partly out of necessity, and it's a chance to start fresh. Maybe I can get out of the depressed rut that I've been in for almost a year now. And that's being nice.... I think it's been far longer than that. But the necessity isn't for me. Polka Dots Mom needs him. He moved to Buffalo, and we've given life here a good shot and a hearty attempt. But things aren't always as good as people pretend they are. His Mom needs help, and he can help. If that makes any sense.

Honesty is a key issue in this matter. It's very hard to just get up and tell everyone that I'm moving. They're going to disapprove and try to talk me out of it. But I need to do this. I need to leap, I need to get outside of my comfort zone. There's a huge world out there, and I can take a part of it. But I need to try and be brave enough to do it.

It's been rough trying to figure out how I'm going to do this. Today...was a real eye opener. Cayden was going to come stay here at the apartment with me. But when he got here he started commenting about everything that was missing from the apartment. He was all happy to be here, but then he turned around after seeing so many things gone and decided he wanted to go home. He stomped out to the car and they went back home.

I hadn't thought about how much this was going to hurt. I'm sitting here in tears because a three year old kid didn't want to stay over. Why? Because it's finally clicked in his head that us telling him over and over that I'm moving wasn't just talk, it's a fact. I don't know if that means he is mad at me, or for how long he will be mad at me...

But I'm upset myself. I'm trading Cheerios and the kids for Polka Dot and uncertainty. I'm kind of scared. In fact am terrified. But I'm sure this is a good thing, this is something good for all of us. I just wish that I believed that.