I spent a few minutes exploring https://picrew.me/ recently. It was a lot of fun to just play with some of the stacking options in their various image generators. The artists who create all the variants are amazing! I'll probably play with it again in the not too distant future.
Unfortunately I failed to remember to grab links to each of the different image creators. But there are SO MANY to explore. Next time I will make sure to get a link to the individual ones.
Yes, I know I haven't been posting regularly. I know I keep saying that I will. I'm struggling lately with life in general. I know a lot of other people are too, so I haven't complained. But yeah, it will get better eventually. That's what I keep telling myself.
I know that things have gotten rally sparse around here. The problem is I have run out of good things to talk about. Which I am sure is a sentiment a lot of you understand.
The only good news I personally have to offer is that I survived having Covid-19. I tried so hard to avoid contracting it. I've followed as many of the rules as I could, and I feel like I've missed out on a lot because of them. But I still got sick. I know that there's more good to come from the protocols, but right now I seriously have trouble seeing it.
My daily life feels.... redundant. My job.... well.... it's a job. They're not supposed to be fun. But I wish that I didn't feel trapped. I wish that it paid enough so that I was able to do more. But it doesn't, and it never will. On top of that, they're expecting more than what they're giving us time for. So it's highly stressful, not that anyone cares.
I spent 2 hours crying today before going to work. The only thing I think I can blame it on is frustration. I had a little bit of hope, but it feels stupid to hope at all now.
There's not much good to talk about other than that I have survived having covid-19. So... yay?
A piece of art I did a million years ago of my dnd character Dyre Drake
Sunday, April 4, 2021
I'm not sure how to explain what I'm feeling.
Lost?
Sad?
Afraid?
Does it really matter in the end?
Nothing is making any sense.
I feel as though there's nothing worth doing anymore.
I am truly at a loss to explain how I feel of late. I have always had good intentions, and the desire to keep going. But it's hard to move forward when the roots that I had in my life are slowly dying off. I know that there is no one to blame but time itself. We all pass on eventually, but accepting this isn't something that many enjoy.
Covid 19, has been in our lives actively for over a year now. It's difficult to find folks now that haven't been touched by it's shadow. I still feel sad when I hear someone say that they don't know anyone who has died, so why is it different than anything else. It's different because the majority of people in the world don't have an immunity for this particular type of virus. Even the people that have had the unfortunate run in with the virus, can catch the same virus more than once.
Now it is mutating, and that's a terrifying reality we all have to accept. Many people do not enjoy wearing the face masks in public, but the truth that must be admitted is that people aren't as sick as they have been in the past. The common colds and common flues that are usually running rampant from late September through late April don't seem to be causing as much trouble in society.
But people don't seem to notice the good things that we have had happen. The ability to see them is harder than I'd like to admit.
February is a rough month for a lot of people. Whether you have a lover or not, you know this to be a fact. You see the sad people posting that they wish they had someone. Or you see people posting about how much they missed a loved one that has passed. Especially this year we're feeling the fresh losses that occurred since the start of the viruses hold on civilization.
Falling in love is ridiculously important to being part of society. Love isn't easy though. It can be frustrating and that's not encouraging. Because people don't want to love. They want to be in power. They want to have power over people, not to be part of a team. When you love someone you should want to be working with them, not against them.
But it seems that a lot of people aren't under that impression. People aren't machines and they make mistakes. The things about mistakes and relationships is that you should learn from both of them.
You should learn to love someone in spite of their flaws. Love someone for everything they are, and don't be afraid to help them through their mistakes. The experiences help add value to your relationship, whether it's a lover or just a friend.
Value the people you care about.
With that said this weeks music selections are dedicated to my friends, because they love me because they want to, not because they have to. I'm grateful for it.
